HeartBlown to smithereens in CC,TX

by Ebg
(Somewhere in S, Texas)

Well... I have been in an almost 2yr old relationship with a young 23 year old female and I'm much older than she is. But my physical appearance says, I look younger.

Nevertheless the relationship started after some ground rules were agreed upon by us both: be honest and faithful and true to one another so she agreed and it took off like a f5 tornado. I was in love like i never knew love could be; and she showed me that she was too BUT... things starting going south fairly quickly.

Sadly she was a compulsive liar and cheated every chance she had when I would leave. By then my love for her was being constantly challenged by her narsistic personality - it was all about her and her needs and in the end I contracted an STD from her when she swore she was with nobody else.

When I confronted her about going to see a Dr., that's when she just wanted out - no love, no heart, no sympathy, no apology for what I expected I had contracted from her.

She was so inconsiderate and with no empathy towards me and my love for her and all the time and effoert I put into this relationship went out the door. Before I could say anything she just sat outside and had nothing to say so I gathered my personal belongings and left very upset and of course heart blown to smithereens.

I knew her ways by then...previously she would manufacture arguments with me...for me to walk away from arguing so she would have the opportunity and reason to see oyher guys; and she had no feelings or signs of regret after the fact...not even any acknowledgement of damage done. I would just forgive her more than any sane person would tolerate, but I guess the love and benefit of the doubt that she would change for the best was wrong.

Now we have not spoken in about two weeks and I have to inform her of the results of the STD checkup so she can get treated but to no avail. She has been from place to place with different men and risking her health and the health of others; and I too weak and tired right now to get to a good place in my mind right now.

I know I'll have to get over her, but it's hard without understanding WHY. My guess is I'll never get an apology from her for what she did to my heart and soul.