The 'boy next door' Narcissist

by Samantha
(Wiltshire)

He was much younger than me but we seemed to have an instant attraction... I'm talking about a new neighbour in the street. I had recently separated from my husband, and was feeling lost and alone at the time, so accepted a drink invitation from this person keen to become a friend.

Within 2 months we were seeing one another, the relationship was quickly full on. He would call me as soon as I arrived home from work to quickly fill my evening with him, then every night. He gave me a key to his home and introduced me to family.

It was about 3 months before he started to change, a few criticisms here or there triangulation with his mum, turning me down to help her out or have dinner with her after we had made plans.

Too tired to see me or "not tonight i have an early start". I tried harder as I felt he was going off me. He said I was needy, so I had time with friends, it caused arguments as he didnt like my friends he said they were trying to set me up with other men.

I couldnt do anything right but he continued with great sex and attentiveness at key times just enough to keep me smitten. The conflict became cyclical and so did the silent treatment over silly things such as you woke with your back to me thats unfriendly, you dont smile enough, your tone is sarcastic or his favourite, 'I'm so disappointed in you'.

I became frustrated, tearful, I felt anxious and sick most of the time, often pondering what I might have done wrong. I loved him and gave him my all. This went on for 18 months but I couldnt seem to end it.

He went to family events without me (I was no longer invited), he went on holiday with his mum after one silent episode and only told me a week after being back but said he went alone.

It came to a head in the second summer, I had got bitten and it was infected and needed hospital treatment for my foot. I texted him to tell him I was in the hospital and his response was that when I stop crying over my foot and think of people worse off struggling with life - that's real suffering. I was so taken aback with his lack of empathy for his so called girlfriend i decided to not respond.

4 weeks later and the hardest time for me going no contact, one sunday afternoon he blocked me on his phone then brought a girl to his home that evening. When I confronted him he said it was my fault as I had ignored him for weeks and he had no choice but to move on. Turns out his mum had fixed him up with this girl she knew and he had already taken her out before that day.

He left me heartbroken, feeling used and stupid.

I contacted him once after this via a work phone as i wanted some explanation as to what went wrong. He basically said it was just my personality that had spoiled the relationship and that I should be grateful he had taken my call. He told me he would unblock me when he was ready to.

Now 4 months in with his new girl or supply I have to see it happen in front of me as we live in the same street!