What is a narcissist going to do? Help renew your faith in God...

by Patti
(USA)

I am actually grateful to my N for giving me the lesson of a lifetime. If I'd never met him with his in-your-face egotism I would have never researched this personality disorder, and may have made this mistake again.

Now I understand why I am drawn to narcissistic men. I have researched the pathology for months and discovered that I was in need of waking up and smelling the coffee.

I now have the information I need to spot a Narc from miles away, and run for my life. I am grateful to him for leading me to so much awareness.

There truly are many good people in this world but there are also many who are totally toxic and who need to be avoided like the plague (narcs are worse than the plague).

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." This part of the Lord's prayer means so much more to me now. Thank God.

Comments for What is a narcissist going to do? Help renew your faith in God...

Click here to add your own comments

Mar 23, 2018
 Boy was I sucked up
by: Anonymous

After a tough divorce I was on line dating and met a guy on a dare that I had instant attraction to. We both did and we made out in the parking lot like teenagers on our first date. He immediately started looking to move to my city from another about 4 hours away.

In the meantime we both went back and forth on weekends and had crazy sex all the time. He started love bombing within two weeks - and saying this was the real deal, and his last 3 wives were all crazy, drunks, and money grabbers. Meanwhile I started to fall in love with him and he moved here and things started to change. The affection slowed down, he started to show weird jealousy and mistrust.

If he had to wait at the door for me to answer he flipped and complained loudly, complained about my bed, my pillows, told me I snored which I never heard before. Criticized my beautiful home, furniture, neighbors and my body all the time saying he was just kidding.

He was depressed a lot, angry all the time, complained a lot, swore a lot and was completely inflexible about anything I wanted to eat or do. It was his way or the highway. I always caved in because I was in love.

Then I realized the nicer I was the meaner he was. He had low self esteem about his body which was amazing but kept self imploding by eating burgers and fries all the time. He took weekly testosterone shots he said for tiredness but I think it made him meaner. But again I put up with it.

One night we were watching a movie and I commented the guy was hot. He became so upset with me he rolled over and stopped talking to me for days despite my apologies and pleas to get over it. He said I did this to him, he couldn’t believe I could be so mean and hurt him so. I was completely dumbfounded that I made a quick comment about a guy in a movie and he was so offended.

He broke my heart. All the while my mother lay dying in hospice. He never came to the hospital or offered any comfort when I would come to his house from the hospital. Said he didn’t feel anything for me since I had hurt him so. I am still so confused about how I hurt him with one comment about a guy on tv.

I have moved on after much research, and reflection, praying and grey rock. Although he wants to be friends "no matter what happens" I said why would you? I can’t be friends with someone I love but it’s obvious he only wanted sex and isn’t capable of love. He is an angry, depressed hypochondriac who criticized me constantly calling me a hoarder. I think he was jealous of all I had.

So strange but I learned so much about the red flags that I ignored and won’t do that again. His victim mentality is not gonna work with me again. He still texts me a lot. Sometimes I reply sometimes not. Either way this was all about him not me.
May 16, 2016
 Awareness from Adversity
by: Jed from Narcissists Bite

Hello Patti,

Thanks for your very positive and inspiring message - you've clearly turned a negative encounter into a valuable learning experience.

I do believe that one of the true gifts a narcissist has for us is awareness - as you've so clearly discovered for yourself.

It begins with awareness of the pathology that is narcissism - with its mind-bending twists and turns, devilish traits and potentially destructive force.

What is a narcissist going to do? They're going to BITE of course!

But the awareness doesn't (or shouldn't) end there. The next step is self-awareness - which has nothing to do with the narcissist really.

The narcissist is just the means - a mere messenger of sorts.

How do we grow from this? What are we being shown or pointed to? What healing gets to happen as a result of this? How does this lead me to becoming a better person - a stronger, more grounded soul?

I love how you so aptly singled out the 'in-your-face-egotism' of the narcissist as the catalyst for the learning and awareness that took place for you.

In my relationship with my narcissistic ex I felt the same way. It's exactly because narcissists have no qualms or scruples that we're confronted so bluntly and intensely by them.

If mercy was any part of their vocabulary the'd be likely to hold back. But with a narcissist there's just no need to worry about that. They will take full advantage and liberties that no-one else would.

It's shocking. It's painful. It's confusing. It's humiliating. It's incomprehensible. And it's devastating.

You even mentioned - evil. And it is.

And it's also ...

A big, enormous, gigantic wake-up call; a powerful catalyst for self-awareness as you put it. Or at least it can be, when we let it.

It's ironic how narcissists always draw us into an obsession with them. Yet, ultimately, we come to a place of realization - it's actually all about us - our personal growth.

This later stage is where healing resides.

If you happen to be reading this and you're currently in an abusive relationship with a narcissist - learn how to free yourself here.

Thanks again for dropping by and shedding some light - not only on what is a narcissist going to do to you; but what they can do for you.

All the best,

Jed

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to What Is A Narcissist Going To Do?.